some things the Holy Spirit has been teaching me about the Father’s heart for His people
Reacquaint yourself with the breach; you can’t go on pretending it’s not there. You can’t go on pretending that all those places in your heart and mind and soul and body where Christ is not King aren’t negatively affecting your relationship with Him. Open your heart again to the pain and darkness and terror of separation from Him so that you can rediscover your absolute need for Him.
He wants you back. He is desperate for your love, your companionship, your conversation, your delight in Him. His heart breaks for you a million times over when He sees you go after anything that is not Him. You are His most precious treasure—and your independence and self-sufficiency pain Him to the core.
There is no shame or condemnation for your wandering, just endless grace and forgiveness, a feast, open arms, rest. Why? Because you are the lost sheep and He is the Shepherd; you are so precious to Him that He will forsake everything and abandon all others in the wilderness until He finds you and brings you back home.
God can completely redeem your shame and finds joy in doing so, not because He delights in seeing you struggle, but because it brings Him deep joy to see you overcome and succeed. The things that you still feel twinges of shame for can be the same things that God is most proud of in your life.
You are His heir, and God Himself is your inheritance. You get the God of the universe to share the joys and woes of your every moment, you get the King of Kings to laugh with, the Comforter to weep with, the best Father/Mother/Brother/Sister/Friend to love, and who loves you fully, completely, better than you can imagine. All He requires is your unadulterated love, a love that consumes your entire being with passion for God Himself.